Retrospectives: Love is a Revolution

there are lines on my arms that spell "SINNER"a giant game of fill in the blanks where the answers are GRACE TRUTH and LOVE the only things I will give more of to you than I will to myself when you feel unworthy when you feel unloved this is his grace when you feel alone whenever you fall this is his love this is His revolution

Retrospectives: her heart

she paints scenes in her heartthat no one can see illusions and hopes doubts and dreams so detailed they blur the lines between life and fantasy but this costs her her love she wants to be a star that everyone sees and everyone loves and everyone needs to see where they're going but this costs her her independence she'll give you all she has and anything you ask for but it ends up costing her self

Retrospectives: this fake plastic dream

If there's anything I've learned, its that life is a choice. Every day we make the choice to live. We choose to get out of bed in the morning or not. We choose to breathe. In the same way, we can choose how we live. To an extent, we choose to be happy. We choose to love. We choose to forgive. We can choose each of these things for our lives, or we can choose hurt, sadness and resentment. We can't change our circumstances, but we can choose how we react to them. Life is a choice. I've seen life begin and I've seen life end. And all of us are stuck somewhere in between. We all struggle with these choices. This is a story about how I chose.

Retrospectives: broken & empty

broken and empty in words / escaping lips that have tasted this bitter drink / and yet I still stand / and I still sing / with a heart that is tainted / I call out to you / like I keep you there / but I don't / I keep you at arms length / or further / buried in the darkest corner of my soul / so I don't have to feel / and when I sing these words / broken and empty / I fall down / I'm smacked in the face by humility / reminded that I'm worse than nothing / an dI don't feel real in my skin / and I can't breathe in this body / this thing that keeps me from you / I can't bring myself to your grace / I'm alone / its my fault / and I don't know how to ask for forgiveness / I don't know how to let you back in / how can I stand / break me and fill me / oh Lord / piece me together with your grace / and fill me with your love / and show me who you are / because my fragile human spirit / needs to be reminded

Retrospectives: these words are my expression, they are not for you.

sometimes I laugh harder than the pain laughs at me and smile brighter than the burning in my heart. and sometimes the heart on my sleeve gets caught in the storm and the rain and the thunder and lightning. and sometimes I lie when I'm drowning just so you wont reach your hand in to save me. sometimes I don't know how to be okay with being okay. sometimes I don't know how to be happy in shitty situations filled with hate. sometimes it is cold on this side of your shoulder when eyes don't even meet and hearts are hard. sometimes I don't need it all I just need something more than nothing. sometimes I don't know what to do but turn around and walk away because that's all that keeps me sane. sometimes there's more to say than I can put into words. sometimes i want sometimes i don't sometimes i hope sometimes i hope for not sometimes i think I'm okay in this state of lacking sometimes I wish I weren't

Retrospectives: to be

is it too much to ask? to be seen to be heard to be felt to be known to be loved in spite of… you murdered this piece of me that still held hope that still saw light in the stars you murdered it with your lies have fun playing kickball with people's hearts because even God's timing will run out and actions tell the truth not empty words that you throw back and forth at this heart you've repeatedly torn in two so i leave you in peace like you leave me in pieces

Retrospectives: shadows

i saw a shadow in the fogon a solitary drive home in the same fog that hides the outline of the moon and obscures the stars from view for months the fog has been rolling in making it harder to see or to move or to breathe tonights the night when shadows come and scare the fog away shadows means there's light ahead in the world that lies beneath beneath fear beneath abandonment beneath dependency there's hope there's hope in shadows there's hope in the one who makes this shadow and the light that leads us home