Retrospectives: these words are my expression, they are not for you.

sometimes I laugh harder than the pain laughs at me and smile brighter than the burning in my heart. and sometimes the heart on my sleeve gets caught in the storm and the rain and the thunder and lightning. and sometimes I lie when I'm drowning just so you wont reach your hand in to save me. sometimes I don't know how to be okay with being okay. sometimes I don't know how to be happy in shitty situations filled with hate. sometimes it is cold on this side of your shoulder when eyes don't even meet and hearts are hard. sometimes I don't need it all I just need something more than nothing. sometimes I don't know what to do but turn around and walk away because that's all that keeps me sane. sometimes there's more to say than I can put into words. sometimes i want sometimes i don't sometimes i hope sometimes i hope for not sometimes i think I'm okay in this state of lacking sometimes I wish I weren't