Retrospectives: honestly
midnight is where the day beginsillusions of truth lost in the tails of shooting stars the sun in your eyes made the lies worth believing honestly honesty is too much for me with visions of redemption i walk against the crowd be true to yourself and the truth will set you free i can't be anything but me but maybe that's not what you need if only this (meaning me) was something more than nothing to you sometimes i wonder were you real did we share these memories and i find it hard to believe our paths crossed for the blink of an eye
Retrospectives: this is...this is...this is...
i curled up with razorsthis is the end this is the end here we go…down the hill…living life for every thrill that we shouldn't be living this life for this blanket keeps me warm wrapped in hate wrapped in guilt wrapped in everything I know I did wrong and this is my sorry this is my i give up this is my last resort this is me…on my knees…wishing you would see…all that this means i wont fail to breathe in this gas drown in this sea hang in this noose drink down this sin that i poured for myself this is my goodbye this is my runaround this is my defense this is me hiding deeper and farther than you would ever come this is me pushing you further they say old habits die hard…i say burn habits burn i say the harder you try the farther you fall so i fall into new beginnings with the hardest part still ahead and learning how to be me again …this is it…
Retrospectives: good gracious
this is us dancingover streaks of light painted on wet asphalt while tears from heaven drench our hoods and reflections of raging storms eye us from puddles below while we dance we are above it all we are higher than the puddles that others so easily drown in we are protected from downpours that always surround us hardcore dancing in the rain this is the way we love
Retrospectives: Learned Supernova
petals from white rosesfall on open graves as shallow hearts mourn the death of this bright star supernovas fade faster than you think when we underestimate the glow that it leaves in your life radiates beyond time and even when you shut it out it still will light your way and all that you've learned from this bright shining star will stay locked in your heart and you can call it back up when you're ready to grow though you've run so far petals from white roses fall on open graves as shallow hearts mourn the death of this bright star supernovas fade faster than you think when we underestimate
Retrospectives: A part of me is...
A PART OF ME IS… selfish.annoying.oversensitive.dramatic.empty.shy.awkward.in denial.over it.dead.mean.overbearing.self-destructive.angry.passive-aggressive.emotional.cheap.tired.a whore.ungrateful.lazy.used.broken.lost.uncomfortable.stuck.intense.hateful.spiteful.ignorant.jealous.worried.proud.unforgiven.displeased.sad.suffering.two-faced.a liar.afraid.disgusted.shot down.absurd.fake.transparent.needy.appalling.pissed.worthless.expendable BUT I AM ALSO… beautiful.amazing.irreplaceable.happy.spectacular.loving.lovable.honest.brave.strong.nice.smart.funny.forgiving.unique.encouraging.selfless.alive.energetic.seeking.progressing.fearless.real.proud.forgiven.redeemed.brilliant.exciting.truefaced.a child.pure.innocent.artsy.creative.independent.graceful.a star I AM EACH OF THESE THINGS BUT NO ONE THING DEFINES ME… I AM BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS ON THE DARKEST NIGHT… TAKE ME FOR WHO I AM. I AM ME…
Retrospectives: coming home from summer project
So here I am, finally with a clear enough head and free time to match to go through my notebook and summarize project. I don't think I will ever finish learning from this experience, I can imagine years down the road having a realization and relating it back. So here are some of the lessons I learned:-God doesn't want to change me, he already has, its just up to me to realize how. -I need to make time with God a priority and not expect him to be there when I am not. -I need expressions of love from other people on top of just the words, because for so long I've heard the words from people in my life, but their actions have contradicted the words. -Living a life of humility requires trusting God and others with who you really are. That also means trusting who God says you are, in him. -God develops our character through our relationships with other people. -When i don't get the kind of attention I want from other people, I try to get it through negative means like being bitter and rude. -I've learned to be more aware of myself when I'm interacting with others. -It is important to let people love you on their terms, not just your own. -I am responsible for my own growth, not anyone else. -God loves me just the way I am. -I am not satisfied with or trusting in the love I receive from other people because I don't truly love myself or see myself as God sees me. -God is faithful, even when you don't have faith. -Issues with other people need to be worked out. It does no good to just let them sit unspoken. It will probably be uncomfortable, but God will make it good in the end. -It is important to be aware of myself and my thoughts, and recognize when Satan is attacking. It makes it easier to overcome the down days. -Take a few moments to put yourself in other people's shoes before you jump to judge them.
Retrospectives: after the storm
peace fallslike a sheet of darkness over eyes that are too tired to see the damage that's been done. debris litters the pat the storm took, evidence of the destruction of the evil one. cross my heart, I hope to cry at the sight of the dead pieces of me on the side of the road. its amazing to think I got through it alive, because I know I wasn't holding your hand. So I'm filled with shame in knowing this storm in my heart was endured alone. How do I return to you? with my head to my chest on my knees begging forgiveness and singing your praises.