give me my words

give me my words.
i am no longer asking,
demanding.

for too long
the words i have performed
have formed me into
a walking contradiction
projecting a truth
i don't truly believe.

for too long
the words i have performed
have filled me with
vacancy
the substance of lacking.

for too long
the words i have performed
have named me
Unlovable
too ugly, too intense, too broken, too...


give me my words.
i am no longer asking,
demanding.

i need my words
because they give
form
shape
boundary
definition
and clarity to
pain.

i need my words
because they
fill
embody
hold
and dwell in
emptiness.
without my words
i simply feel
FULLY
and
DEEPLY
with nowhere
for that to go.

so it just sits,
those feelings
(those words)
just sit
inside
and they grow,
they take life,
they begin to
breathe
taking my own breath
and stealing my strength.

i need my words
because they give me
strength
and power.

power to name
because there is
power
in a name
and power in naming.

i need my words
because they communicate
hope
truth
truth that i need to hear
over the sound of lies
that i have believed for too long.

FOR TOO LONG.

give me my words. i am no longer asking, demanding.