framing the conversation

the beginning. here we go.

i created this piece over the summer, you may remember it. it is a piece that came out of a different process than anything i had created up to that point. i had no vision, i had only a canvas and time, and that is what came out. i sort of liked it, which was unexpected. so i hung it on my wall.

little did i know that the words on that canvas would come to describe the nature of my existence this year.

conviction. creativity. courage.

conviction. the idea that something is important, meaningful, reliable and carries weight. but more than that, conviction is standing in that place. what is conviction unless you are willing to fight for it? conviction without action is simply a thought.

creativity. this has nothing to do with artistic ability. it is imagination, the ability to vision, to see things from different angles. creativity is a state of mind, a way of being, and a way of interacting.

courage. courage depends on fear. there will always be things to be afraid of: things that threaten our safety and our comfort. courage is deciding that fear doesn't can't win. courage is stepping into vulnerability because you know it will be worth it.

and this is where i begin a conversation about sexuality. with conviction, with the creativity needed for nuance and (hopefully) sensitivity, and with courage to look deeply into myself and to speak with honesty and humility.

sexuality is a broad term. when i am talking about sexuality, i don't just mean the act of engaging in intercourse, and i don't just mean those other things we add to the category of "hooking up" with others. sexuality is about connection and communion. sexuality is something that has to do with how we relate to and interact with others. our sexuality is somehow deeply connected to our identity, and you don't have to be having sex or in a relationship to be sexual.

with that said, my intentions in walking through this topic include, but perhaps are not limited to:
- articulating and understanding my own story around sexuality
- accessing the deep truth that i have come to believe about myself and others as a result of my story, and hopefully finding healing
- asking the bigger questions about what is even at stake in this conversation about sexuality
- providing a space for others to engage this topic with me or on their own

i will probably talk about sex, pornography, homosexuality, marriage, and some of the other typical things you would expect to hear along the way. but i will also talk about God, being made in the image of God, communion, and more. i will probably ask a lot of questions - because i have a ton of those. i don't have a ton of answers. questions move us forward, definitive answers can sometimes halt conversation. so i am just going to start thinking, and talking, and asking questions.