Growing Up
Okay friends, I promised that I would write more about Haiti and what it means for my life coming back. Well, here is that post. Last year in Haiti, I came back with some pretty clear words from God. I had direction on next steps, letting some things go, and moving forward in a lot of areas of my life. However, when I got home it was less than a day before those lessons flew right out of my mind. I stalled. I chose not to take it seriously, not to move forward, and not to let go. As a result, I have spent much of the last year stuck in a rut. Which is not to say that I have not progressed or grown at all, or that I'm not moving forward (e.g. with schooling). It just means that my growth and progress has been hindered because I am still carrying things that I have been commanded to let go of, and still engaging in behaviors that I have been commanded to grow out of. This year, I happened to take the same journal that I had used last year, and so I read back through what was going through my head in Haiti 2011. I was shocked to see that I had "learned" the lessons that I was hoping to learn this time around! God had already given me the answers that I was looking for, I just chose to ignore it for a year. So I have realized that there are no more excuses. I can't continue to wait for God to show me or speak to me, because God already has. It is up to me to act now. It is time to stop wondering about the kind of woman of God that I could be, and start becoming that person. It is time to stop hoping my circumstances will change and act out of the situation I am in now. It is time to stop wishing I had been dealt a different hand and start playing the one I've got. It is time to grow up, stop making excuses, and live my life to the fullest. Here are some of my action points[1]: -I will find an intergenerational fellowship of women in order to gain different perspectives and wisdom outside of my peer group. -I will develop relationships with people who challenge me to growth. -I am beginning a devotional in order to maintain the act of reading the Bible for my heart and not just my mind. -I plan on losing the 20lbs I gained in my laziness this last year. -I will begin taking bigger steps toward my goal of serving overseas. This begins with a "conference" in Portland in two weeks about discerning next steps with people who know way more about missions than me. -I will establish the core values that drive me as a person...and then choose to live by them. -I will be in prayer about returning to Haiti next year, for a longer period of time, in order to work directly with the school and community in Foison. Friends, please keep me accountable to this list. Ask me about these things. Ask me what I'm learning. I would really appreciate it. <BR><BR><BR>
[1] I reserve the right to add or remove from this list at any time.
