retrospectives: plans for the future
none of this actually happened... <BR><BR> i'm going backpacking through europe when i graduate college. summer of '07. if you are interested, start saving up, because i am definately going. i think i'm going to hit athens, paris, prague, rome, copenhagen, amsterdam and london. or some combination of the above. it will be expensive but well worth it. by then i will have my bachelor's in creative writing, and i will be 21 and i will go to europe, have the ultimate experience, write my award winning novel, and then i will be able to come back to california, settle down in long beach and prepare to get my CFA in creative writing, meet the beautiful christian boy i will end up marrying and start a family. it will be perfect. lets just hope by then i swipe my VCard so that i can whore myself around europe for train fare. haha WOOT. my dad said something to me the other day. it really kinda stuck. he said i'm right in the middle. i'm not a kid anymore, but i'm really not an adult yet. i'm not out in the real world, being my own person at all. i can't wait for that. as much as that scares me, it is the scariest things in life that end up being the most worth it. so with that said...from now on, my life is being lived in preparation for the future. no more looking back, no more dwelling, no more focusing on the past. from this point forward, it is all about who i'm going to be and how i'm going to live. here's to the beginning, because it hasn't really started yet. loading pictures from my camera to my comp, i stumbled upon a picture of my cousin. she is about to turn 2. it is the most precious picture i've ever seen. i'm so lucky that she is a part of my family. everything happens for a reason. she's in this family for a reason. someone put her here, in this family, for a reason. for that i'm thankful. there is a reason that my dad and i had a falling out when we did. so that i could be there for him now, when he needs it the most. there is a reason i didn't go away to college right away. so that i could find out what i wanted to do and be sure of myself. there is a reason i'm friends with the people i am friends with now, and not friends with those i am not friends with. i'm so thankful i have this outlook right now. i feel so alive. i wish i could share with you all.
