okay, profound introspection.......

okay, i don't know. that's all that matters. I DON'T KNOW. i don't know where i'm going to be in 5 years, i don't know if i want to get married, i don't know if i ever want to have kids. but who cares. because i'm only 17, and i don't have to know. and the most exciting part of life is ahead of me. its all ahead of me. no looking back. everyone's going off to school, everyone i know and love and care about, and will miss dearly. but one thing is true: if we are friends, and we are going to be friends, it wont matter how far you are away. and it wont matter if i don't give you a call every week. because you will be able to call me up out of the blue six months or 4 years from now, and say hey remember me, can we talk? and i wont give a second thought to it. i'll always be there for anyone, no matter how far apart we get, no matter how many miles between us. my life will be open to anyone who wants to experience me. and my only hope is that i can find someone with the same philosophy who i want to experience. and as for now, i'm going to explore my options, i'm going to write as much as i can, and i'm going to read as much as i can, i'm going to play as much music as i can, and i'm going to experience as much as i can. i will be more approachable, and maybe meet some new people, because i've decided that i don't want to float through college and never meet anyone new (which is the path i am on right now). i don't need to meet as many people as possible, but i don't need to close myself off to the possibility of anyone. actually, you know as great as this philosophy sounds, i doubt it will work. do you care to know why? because i am lazy. nothing is ever going to change that. and because i don't like to be the one to pick up the phone to see what someone is doing right now. and although i REALLY want to see katie before she leaves, i can't pick up that phone... ps. you can all laugh at my little thought process, but as of a year ago, no one had an lj but adam and i, and this was where i put all those stupid little ramblings that got me through a VERY dark period. and seeing as it worked for me once, it seems logical that it will work again. so if you don't care to hear about this, or about what i feel, then you are reading the wrong journal.