lament

duh. it seems like i should have seen this coming, that i could have anticipated this point in my journey if i was only paying better attention. two years ago i took a class on the prophets and was confronted with the idea of lament. and i began to think about grief, mourning, letting go...and how horrible we tend to be at it. lament is the practice of the prophet. prophecy, i learned as an intern, is a gift and a call that i have on my life...so there's that. if you read through the prophets in the Bible, lament is a very clear theme. the prophets lament at the state of the sin of Israel, they lament over the exile and broken relationship with God. this is not the sole job of the prophet, other key elements include warning of judgment and proclaiming hope. lament is just a chapter in the story. but it is an important chapter, especially when you consider the so very many things we have in our lives to grieve over. it is a chapter that we really cannot afford to skip over. so...a couple weeks ago i was on the women's retreat that my church hosted (planned, organized and executed via a grassroots movement that makes me proud to call this church home). we talked about places where we have experienced  great abiding, joy and fruitfulness. what comes to mind for me is UPC. i have been a member for 3 years and attending for almost 5, and it is in this place that i have found a home, a community, deep and sustaining relationships, opportunity to participate in the life of the church and serve in ministry in many capacities. i think of the mission trips i have been on to kenya, new orleans and haiti. i think of all the service projects i helped organize for convergence. i think of the community groups that i participated in launching. i think of the year i spent interning. i think of the leaders and friends along the way who have shaped the person that i am now, in seminary and graduate school, following a bigger call on my life. i think back on these things and i feel great joy. then we were asked to reflect on a place where we feel a sense of grief, barrenness, and exile. lo and behold (i was just as shocked as you will be in reading this) this place is also UPC for me. because today at UPC, amidst a whirlwind of change in the last couple years, i don't have a deep and sustaining community of relationships. many of my friends have left the church because convergence and the sunday service we participated in have ended and there just isn't the opportunity for fellowship anymore. there is the very real possibility of walking into church on a sunday and not seeing anyone i know. the leaders who knew me and who were invested in my growth have all moved on to pursue other calls. i am not serving or participating in any capacity beyond stephen ministry training, which is great but is not your traditional sort of ministry. to sum: my place of deep abiding joy and fruitfulness has become for me a place of exilic despair and barrenness. and there is much to lament. my dear friend nicki, in response to my sharing this revelation with her, said that this sounded a lot like the Israelites who, during the Babylonian exile, were stuck in Jerusalem. see, not all of the Israelites were cast out to Babylon during the exile, as we tend to think. in actuality, there were many who were left in Jerusalem and the rest of Judah, left to look at the wreckage of their former idyllic life, the ruins of the temple, everyday reminders of just how far they fell. BAM! nicki, what a shot to the heart, a word from the Lord. since then, i have had a desire to learn more, to explore this biblically and to find something in Scripture that i can identify with. i wondered...was there Scripture about the exile from the perspective of Jews in Jerusalem? what? there is? turns out, lamentations is the place to turn. so i have decided that i am going to study lamentations. i'm going to read commentaries, articles, dictionaries, what have you, and i'm going to learn about Israel's lament. because i think lament is important. lament is also the space into which we enter on good friday. when Jesus is killed, crucified, when he assumes our death as his own, we lament. it is important to sit in this space, because without good friday, without lament, there is no glory of the resurrection, no hope of easter. to be sure, the lament is not the final word, but it is part of the experience. lamentations. i'm going to read it, and read it well. and i'm going to share some of my thoughts here. interaction is welcome, we can't do this alone.