Snow Day or how to be unhappy and still have hope

For those of you who don't know (really, man...how could you not know? don't you have facebook?), Seattle got a bit of snow last week. I'll spare all the bitching and moaning about it and simply say that it was a rough week. I am lucky enough to have wonderful roommates to find entertainment with in games, walks to green lake and cooking meals. I'm also lucky to have some good friends who live pretty close who came over for some much needed socializing. On the other hand, all the peace and quiet this week has left me alone with my brain...which is never a good situation. I have struggled this week. These demons that I have been fighting with are not new. They have been here my whole life in some capacity or another, and have been present most recently for the past few months. Up until now, I haven't been able to kick them. These are issues of fear, insecurity, laziness, and a lack of love for myself. I know that no one can fix this for me. It is a matter of choice - of making a decision for myself. I have this encouragement tattooed on my arm because this has been my struggle for so long. I have to make the choice to move forward. But honestly, I don't have it in me yet. There is a disconnect somewhere. I am praying, in hope, that I will find it sooner rather than later.